perm filename MY.COD[FOO,LMM] blob
sn#077064 filedate 1973-12-07 generic text, type C, neo UTF8
COMMENT ā VALID 00048 PAGES
C REC PAGE DESCRIPTION
C00001 00001
C00006 00002 Sun --- Aquarius
C00007 00003 Desert poem.
C00009 00004 Sometimes --
C00014 00005 If you get yourself in trouble,
C00015 00006 Shame on me
C00016 00007 Sand dollar lady
C00017 00008 GREAT!
C00018 00009 Write down my sorrow
C00019 00010 Bird songs
C00020 00011 as ever remote, no love lost
C00021 00012 yummy tummy
C00022 00013 (1) Pardon me miss, may I hump you?
C00023 00014 What can I do with you
C00024 00015 Raspy skinny bitch-- broken.
C00025 00016 Confusion --
C00026 00017 Bright ecstatic moments,
C00027 00018 Methodical me, my creativity.
C00028 00019 waiting for little chickie,
C00029 00020 comfort-
C00030 00021 Here and now, like the great here and after,
C00031 00022 Fragmented words. Sequence of nouns, no verbs.
C00032 00023 Where are my almonds!! Goddam stewardess didn't bring me
C00033 00024 I don't.
C00034 00025 Grief and sadness
C00035 00026 Time for toads
C00036 00027 Methylene terpredation
C00037 00028 Freedom.
C00038 00029 Re.
C00039 00030 When the train leaves
C00040 00031 ASS!
C00041 00032 I have learned that
C00042 00033 Two o'clock. Train at 452.
C00043 00034 Peter: It makes
C00044 00035 I
C00045 00036 Poverty. Here is a robustness
C00049 00037 There. White Cliffs of Dover.
C00050 00038 Feeling, fear.
C00052 00039 I must do right by them.
C00054 00040 Paper bag blues
C00055 00041 Two ladies
C00057 00042 Set the table, dear,
C00058 00043 It's hot & crowded and steam rises from
C00060 00044 I have an enormous obsession with
C00061 00045 In-ter-na-tion-al con-ver-sa-tion.
C00062 00046 Home again. well come home.
C00063 00047 I am content
C00064 00048 Lolling tongue
C00065 ENDMK
Cā;
Sun --- Aquarius
Moon --- Libra
Mercury --- Capricorn
Venus --- Aquarius
Mars --- Pisces
Jupiter --- Capricorn
Saturn --- Virgo
Uranus --- Gemini
Neptune --- Libra
Pluto --- Leo
Rising --- Leo
Desert poem.
Reoccurance of
heat
dreams.
Be me, know me, suffer with me
unaskable things
as I want them unasked.
Now,
Passion over: tempermental outburst of fear.
You fill my mind:
what can I do
to bring us together, tight:
to upward, one toward one,
so that both rise.
I am getting stoned silly, playing pool into shoes.
Tell me what you did today,
I am hungry for doing,
suspicious of moving,
of going, flowing,
silk of the breeze.
Temporary release, surcease, rejoinder
but eventual frustration in fornication.
Expediants expidite without change. Permanance.
Can I plead, come in now.
Should I plead, I need you?
Sometimes --
sometimes I can look at you
and not be afraid
sometimes --
sometimes I can think of you
and not hear the fear
yammering away in my ears
those times are very good
If you get yourself in trouble,
get yourself out.
If you don't know how to be,
learn.
If you don't know what to do,
figure it out.
Don't lean on me,
I'm not your man anymore.
Shame on me
for surrogating you
using you
fantasizing over you
dream J dream
Shame on me
for seeing visions
flirtations, quiet understandings
Shame on me for WANTING
wanting so much that I was
unreal
preferring dreams and fantasies
over the possible grotesqueness of
the real.
Sand dollar lady
tripping down the path
my words ring out to you,
to who
Empty love, I am need.
I am want,
you filled me with joy
and left.
Leaving fear
leaves all alone
lonliness fills my nights.
GREAT!
CREATE!
YOU CRATE!
get off your ass
sitting pretty and writing small
thinking to yourself full of self pity & longing:
Create! If no one knows but yourself,
you are empty.
Write down my sorrow
fold the paper
maybe it'll go away
Ambivalence, anger, fear
negative words, feelings.
stamp them out.
(stamp, stamp)
I reject my fears and HIDE.
I am alive and free
if only I can see
how wonderful I am.
Sunken morose of dreams despondancy.
What do I need with such?
I have
plants, fishes, papers, letters.
A new phase; no need to cling.
Bird songs
I hear your bird songs --
you on a tree outside my window.
A year now, hearing your bird songs, waiting
To be in love.
as ever remote, no love lost
today I feel no withdrawal pains
What kind of love is that,
that
dies like that.
Who you are,
can I conjure up your face?
rolling down the hill
biting cold
I see nothing but
the pit in my stomach.
yummy tummy
shimmy belly
rubbie slurping
hot wide mouth
------------------
tickle nipple
scritchle humple
fingers treble
thumps my back
------------------
greasy easy
silken motion
swishing bedsheets
long soft stroke
------------------
tumble jumble
dangle limb
rolling swinging
lolling toungue.
------------------
(1) Pardon me miss, may I hump you?
(2) Pardon me miss, may I slurp you?
(3) pardon me miss, may I fuck you?
(4) Pardon me miss, do you wanna dance?
(5) Pardon me miss, pardon me.
What can I do with you
ancient love
Aztec stamp on my soul.
It reeks of mildew
it's that kind of age
that grows slime.
What am I that
relies on loneliness
to torment my soul
Raspy skinny bitch-- broken.
Dry humping in the cold, afraid
to speak.
Bright grief in a jar
brief love, Susan.
I am sick, tired, lonely,
not wanting to be.
Write your lonely heart out
to me; I want to suck
your bittersweet.
Confusion --
whirlwinds of thought
slow liquid crystals in milk-white
swirls
Blue, light blue.
What to make of this
slurry; immersion in laughter,
high thoughts and tails, wagging in
the darkness of our mouths.
Love, you sing my song,
high whine of the wind
thru the trees.
Duodenic rhythms
beating slow time in
background while short
pulses of srieks intersperse
themselves, cutting edge, writing bright
Bright ecstatic moments,
the falling of a leaf, perception
loud, like snow: soft.
Listen to me: "Listen to me, saying
`Listen to me I said listen to me'".
Vector bright, ashynchronous,
wherewithal the toast of love.
Dark hat, pulled tightly,
canasters in plexiglas.
Do you get me?
Does this TURN YOU ON?
Huh?
Make your mouth water brutally,
banging your chops on a
juicy greasy steak?
Methodical me, my creativity.
Punch your pasties, petunia.
Turn to whimsey, giggling
bright, fantastic tenor of
thorny stasis, nose clean,
body bright.
waiting for little chickie,
wanting warm.
What does it buy, this:
holes in my underwear.
Same sad story; told you, tell you;
want you. Kicked, kinks, bites; dreams
of sucking breasts, erotica.
Destroy my dreams, dreamboat;
all shattered ice, melting away.
comfort-
like wherewithal- its easier to sit
a light floating feeling, the morning
baloon rests lightly within.
It must be
the nylon shirt -- I feel cool.
Friendly captain of the skies. Our leader.
I am safe.
Here and now, like the great here and after,
there and before. When and where.
Craftmanship, what of it? Art and
thus excusable? Unnoticed craftmanship?
Secret of ages, like a book never read.
It is Art, I say. Everything is art, in some
way. Only-- there is good and bad. Value
judgements. Bah. Name 5 non-arts:
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
Would you rather ask questions or answer them?
Fragmented words. Sequence of nouns, no verbs.
Prepositions are excusable. To describe a state,
a feeling, where I am now; the associations flow like
ink.
I must work at this high feeling I have now --
no sleep, the dreams crowd into the day.
I am looking
forward
to holding you.
Where are my almonds!! Goddam stewardess didn't bring me
my fucking almonds and I want them NOW and she isn't bringing
them. What is this world coming to!!??
At least a coke or something.
Boy, am I having fun.
I don't.
no point. Just pretend.
When I let go and feel
that it's ok that I
feel no care, by myselfishness
frustrasted by trying to please.
I've surrounded myself with
expectations to be with you.
I don't want them. I don't
need you; I don't need
your shit, I don't need
your pain; I don't need the
place I put myself with you.
Out.
Grief and sadness
I
Isolate myself
writing in a corner
sad, so sad.
When will it break
shattering glass
Sad old man, my father
weight of years.
Asshole.
Time for toads
birds in a cage
lovers; wincing memory
Is it like this, Susy
feeling sadness at your
dry old teat. Bony
hands, rumpled beds,
turning, smearing
Old lady, does she know
my NEED for love --
where is gentleness;
all that is left is pain.
Time to destroy illusions;
finis... time for a journey
back to aloneness.
Methylene terpredation
chunky sticks, sticking to mind,
wherewithal. Here I sit,
thinking here I sit. sat. shat.
And what does it mean? And who cares?
I can't think to do it, to be it
to have any ideas of: WHY
am I so alone.
Freedom.
And alone.
getting stoned.
Uncountable bodies / warm love.
Solitude. Sights. shake up.
freak out.
sleep.
Re.
Repression repressed.
Trouser creases.
How can one who, healthy by comparison,
sickly in mind, full of that enjoyment
and beauty, dimly lit fortune,
subtle symbols.
Why do I turn them away.
When the train leaves
drowning sorrows,
having fun, taking care;
I miss my garden
sweet soft love
sunning
under the tree.
Come with me
to my love nest.
ASS!
what have you done to
Professional Pride, professional
man, professional child.
Whopla, ho ho, ha ha.
Tenderness caressing stone
it softens not
Take my eyes // I am a fool.
Pinch my ass, it deserves it.
I have learned that
I am alone.
No conniseur of aloneness, I.
Old churces, museums;
watchful of Nazism.
Alcohol.
sitting, wandering
It burns, my aloneness.
Beauty, fucks. I always
dream of fucks. Sperm like snot,
I leave behind, wandering.
Two o'clock. Train at 452.
How can I make it,
what can I do.
Prostitute, tits not bare
sitting
window
I am sad for you.
Peter: It makes
7 fucks, 1 kiss.
I can list them all.
Judy will ride with me, but will not speak.
Tired lady in Washington cafe
Brightens when I say hello;
sadens when I say goodby.
Genise invites me to use her
facilities.
Beautiful lady on train
Kahrlsruhe to Baden Baden
asks if I am lonely.
Wisconson, no beauty. But hope
in her eyes, when I
hope
to
pick
her
up.
And, she drops her pencil
when I say hello.
I'd invite you in,
but I'm tired.
I
am a potato.
No matter what,
I remain a potato.
No fancy carrots, you;
esoteric apples,
potato-ness becomes me.
Poverty. Here is a robustness
of pouvrais -- that one cannot
escape from fear. I am afraid of
those I meet: fucks and fights.
Foreign tempers. I paper myself.
But insulation, escalation.
crap.
There. White Cliffs of Dover.
They're white all right.
Feeling, fear.
I feel I should feel sad.
Staring back, knowing.
Having been.
No souvenirs, not enough.
No sad sad thoughts, not enough.
No joyous anticipation; only
slightly wary -- I made it,
I did it.
It's like prostitutes -- no joy, only fucks.
No joy in travels, only trains, hotels,
sights; the mechanism is there, but the
spirit... ah, the spirit.
I must do right by them.
Friends who
keep up, post up.
Touch me, keep me warm.
I'll keep you warm.
Deal?
Paper bag blues
waiting
quick glances of culture,
red hair waltzing
a Barb
waving in the wind
of ceiling fans.
They're all freaks here
The mode
flowering poverty
a, acultural,
observer.
Two ladies
I look away
remembering the
sensual
removal of a sweater...
only to find another
underneath.
Set the table, dear,
in your leather jacket.
The arch of
your movement
a mathematical
curve.
Catenary? Parabolic?
Definitely.
It's hot & crowded and steam rises from
agonized eyebrows. Glances.
I wish I knew those glances.
What pain they say to me.
This is a love letter, pumpkin --
you know, romantic train.
She has blond hair on her legs,
small breasts, firmly encased.
An old ring -- I like to think,
her grandmothers.
Bloated sleep in the corner.
Two nuns sit on the left,
a sleeping housewife on right.
Four old men play cards the
next seat back.
I travel only second class.
I have an enormous obsession with
tits.
Incorrigible tit-starer.
Come here,
let me stare at your tits,
a bit.
Many tits I dream of sucking.
Give me a tit and I'll suck it.
Soft, hard, whatever you like.
I'll suck your tits for free.
In-ter-na-tion-al con-ver-sa-tion.
I liked her --- Dane.
No fear of touching
no fear of dancing
no fear of non-beauty
non beautiful as she was.
Crazy. Tickle my feet.
Home again. well come home.
Stinking pits, itching beard,
laughs, joy, sharing;
word games on the
plane, I win.
Honeybun in white pants
soft drawl, I miss you.
hey listen... I've been in love before;
I know the tenderess of a night, a kiss, sweet cares.
I know the pain of sharing, rightful
claming hard assed to me.
You belong to ME.
fuck off, gypsy.
I am content
wait
listen
There is yet time for stillness.
Lolling tongue
this is what it's all
abounding.
--
Dreams, dreams of Maja.
Dreams of strange rooms, parrots,
sweet old ladies & nostalgia like acid.
What can they do now with their flowers?
---
Psychiatrist: What do you want?
Me: What do I want?
There is a pretty red dress there.
I think I'll watch it.